Hotel California
by Frankielynn
Summary: A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it. - Jean de La Fontaine (Destiny):The inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular person or thing is destined; one's lot.


**Hotel California  
Easter Bunny Fic Exchange  
Pairing: Bella/Carlisle  
Rating: M  
Warning(s): strong language, dark themes  
Prereader/Beta: EmmaLee Rose, Jaspers_Woman, AJasperForMe, Twimom817  
Summary:A person often meets their destiny on the road they took to avoid it. And this is my road.  
Note to my readers: I'm not sure how this story will come across. I had a hard time with writing it, and hope it reads as strong as I intended it to be.  
Thank you all for sticking by me for my many stories, plot twists and everything else my crazy brain comes up with.**

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_**A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it. - Jean de La Fontaine  
(Destiny):The inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular person or thing is destined; one's lot.**_

To anyone else on the outside looking in, my life would seem like a dream come true, easy, or that I had it all. To me, I'm just waiting for it to end . . . to die.

I had always known my fate was set for me, my option to choose was gone. My fate was to be like him from the moment his hand touched mine. It would start with 'Will you marry me?' and end with 'Will you help me?', though I would never get to say 'yes'.

I wished now I had fought him harder, stood up for myself, fought my fate. I fell all too willingly into his lies and into this life. I didn't want to see the warning signs staring directly at me. No, all I saw with my rose-colored glasses was him, hovering and protective. But he wasn't that either, no, Edward was bending the rules to conform to his will, just as he was bending me.

I can remember the summer before he left; sitting in the grass, alone with him, making a list of my lasts. The things I wanted to do, experience before I was to die. I can still feel his fingers combing through my hair, his eyes lost to the shimmer of the sun on my skin. My list was simple, easily completed with or without his help.

To feel the summer rain on my skin at midnight.

Watch a thunderstorm.

Make love in my meadow.

Marry Edward in the sun.

Say goodbye to everyone.

I had already said goodbye to my family so many times since meeting Edward, it should have been easy now; should have been well-rehearsed from my lips. But knowing this was one I wasn't coming back from, made this goodbye the hardest.

My mother's face as Edward drives us away, my father's voice as I tell him I love him. The words sharp and stabbing in my head again as I remember them. Saying goodbye to my friends wasn't that hard, I had never allowed myself to get that close to any of my Forks classmates, Edward's one rule. One of many rules I would soon find out.

"Getting close to them now will only make it harder later, my dearest Bella." He told me this laying in bed one night while waiting for me to fall asleep. I hated sleeping when Edward was around, I never wanted to miss a second of his eyes watching me. I understand why I had that feeling now, our time together was never meant to be for long.

I believed him. I believed him then and a part of me still believes him now. The part of me not breaking in agony over his lies, his leaving me. Does it make me a bad person? Really, what constitutes a trustworthy or safe person anymore? Someone who doesn't lie? Or leave? Abuse? I guess I have too many questions to the answers I'll never get, that I'm not allowed, not yet.

I want Edward to see me now, see the person he's left. No, he didn't leave a person, he left a shell. He left me to forge ahead into the unknown of a fate he had set for me, and then just when I had accepted that fate, he changed the rules yet again.

My list once read 'Marry Edward'. So how was I to ever know I was fated to Carlisle? And who would ever guess I would be wishing for the hell of Edward back? That Edward's leaving would snowball a chain reaction so big no one could fix it. That his last words would cause a jump in my death, and the deaths of others . . . Esme.

I'm on the floor, newspaper clippings and articles spread out in fans before me, all saying the same thing, all missing the details, the truth. I'm holding the newest one in my hand when Carlisle finds me.

"You think it's weird my dad didn't have a funeral for me?"

His fingers brush my hair back as he kneels down beside me, collecting the news clippings in his other hand. I spy the empty folder I had them in still laying on the floor next to me. I can feel his hand gripping my hair tighter as he speaks.

"Bella, I think it's 'weird' you still care so much about your own death. You need to let your past go, focus on the new life you have ahead of you. Your new life with me."

"Let my past go? My past is all I have left. Edward's taken everything else away, you've taken it all away. My death . . . my death was the one thing I had control over."

"No, Bella, you never had control over your death. You had control over the lie."

"Of how they'll think I died? How it was no one's fault? And of course, how you did everything you could to save me? Right?"

"Bella-"

"NO! No, I'm done, this . . . THIS," I waved my hands in the air, "is done. I didn't get a choice in meeting Edward, or living or dying. But I damn well get a choice in this. They are still my family, Carlisle, it still matters. It still matters to me."

My new list, the list I made for after I die was much more complex. I was taking full advantage of my power. The rules I knew I could break.

Kill Edward.

Bury my memories of him in the meadow and watch it burn.

Destroy the Cullens.

Feel the sun on my new skin, watch the twinkle it makes.

Make love.

I wanted their blood, their venom, to be on my hands, to take the power away from him . . . from them. Once they killed the weak human I was now, I would be able to harness powers still yet unknown even to them. I couldn't wait.

I let the water run over my skin. The warm water heating it to an angry red. I washed my hair as memories of Edward's fingers making tiny braids in it ran through my mind. I plotted ways to kill, to learn to hate as I had been taught to. Fight for the things I wanted, what I was duly owed.

The water had finally turned cold by the time Jasper found me. The look on his face told me even before I asked that it wasn't good. He gave me his hand to help me out of the shower, wrapping a towel around me as he started to speak.

"It's getting close, I feel it. Your human life is almost over, Bella."

"Jasper?" I leaned into his touch as he continued to dry me off, unfazed by my nakedness, my humanness that close to him.

"Hmm?"

"Will you do it, change me? I trust you." Aside from Carlisle, my trust rested solely in Jasper. He was the only one to tell me the truth now, save me from the lies of my mate's rule.

"The law says only a mate can change a mate. I'm sorry."

"The law! I'm so fucking sick of the law. My mate's gone, Jasper. He left me to die here alone. So tell me, what does your 'law' say now?"

"I . . . We shouldn't be discussing this, Bella. Not here."

"Then tell me something . . . happy."

"Happy?"

"Yes, you know, like a joke. Make me believe this life isn't all doom and gloom, Jasper. Lie to me."

"Lie to you? You're not sick of all these lies we tell yet?"

"I know there's a truth in there somewhere. No one can lie all the time. There's always a truth to every lie."

"That's very wise, Bella."

"I know. I learned from you."

I comb out my hair to the tune of civil war jokes from Jasper, followed closely by a supervised dinner with Alice; I'm the only one eating. I'm not left alone much anymore. Fear of me fleeing maybe? A change of heart. It's way too late for any of that now. Instead in my moments of solitude, alone in my room, I write out more lists. Lists of death and ways to die, ways to kill. My lists, the only thing I'm taking with me into my new life, are made as reminders, memories, far away pipe dreams I'll never get to do.

My newest list lays unfinished on my bed as Rosalie comes into my room to collect me for my walk. And like the good pet I am now, I follow, surprised she lets me walk without a leash.

Ways to die:

Stray bullets or an executioner's round to the heart

Trial by fire, burning for my sins

Knife to the heart, a true lover's crime

Poison the drop to redden the wine

Hanging, cursed to fall from grace

Electrocution, the modern way to die

Starvation, punishment for my greed

Illness.,the body giving up on itself

Buried alive, a mistaken identity of sorts

Jumping from a great height, a coward's farewell

Car accident, leaving it to fate

Suffocation, be it akin to sleeping

Blood loss, vampircally influenced or a razor's sharp edge

Drowning, floating under, out of control

After my walk, I finish my list, tucking it safely under my bed. I don't think I want to find out what would happen if that was found too soon. My illusion of solitude would be no longer, though I sense an end to that coming anyway. I can feel eyes follow me, the hairs at my neck tingle with the ghost of the breath, gone too quick for me to see. I'm running out of time.

In my dreams I see death. I see my death. A slow bite to my neck, my wrists, ankles, veins. Teeth slicing me clean, not letting a single blood of drop escape. I never see my killer's face, see who takes my life for good. Who I kill first. My death dreams are vague, leaving me empty and haunted. Sometimes I dream of Edward, of meadows and his fingers in my hair. I see him leaving, my voice weak and calling after him, too human to stop anything.

Tonight I dream of death again, I'm facing down the barrel of a gun. I don't recognize the hand holding it, but I'd know the voice anywhere . . . Jasper. I know I should be scared as he pushes the gun into my skin, it's pressing coldly at my heart. I'm not, a sense of relief fills me instead. This is it, this is how I'll die . . . at Jasper's hand.

I dream of placing my hands over his, our fingers tremble at the trigger, daring each other to pull it. End the madness, the self-inflicted chaos. I beg him with my eyes as my voice trembles to speak the words.

"Pull the trigger, Jasper. I want you to do it." I feel his other hand release from the gun and move to my thigh, caressing me, soothing circles marking my skin. He shakes his head, clicking the gun still on my chest.

"Bella, the law won't allow it."

"There are no laws here, just us. Release me." I feel the rush of air as the bullet frees from the chamber, pushing into my chest. I feel myself falling, floating to the ground. I wait for the pain I know I should be feeling, the death that's not coming. I move to feel my chest, to feel where I'm marked, only to feel nothing. My solid skin, cold and hard. I'm not human, I can't die now.

I wake from my dream, a pool of sweat around me. I'm alone, alive and still human. The door clicks open as I move to lay back down. Emmett's voice booms into the room, I cringe.

"Time to talk, Bella."

"What if I have nothing say?" I challenge, setting my eyes against his.

"You always have something to say, this is a lot for one person to take in."

"And now you're my guidance counselor? Want me to share my dreams, and you tell me what they mean? I dream about death, what do you think that means?"

"Bella, you're being juvenile today."

"Big words from a big man. Who taught you those words, huh?"

"Watch yourself, Bella." He snaps this at me and sits down on my bed. Amazing, such a big man, light as a feather.

"Or what? What are you going to do to me? I know the rules, and the laws and I know the truth."

"And what's the truth, Bella?"

"Edward was never going to kill me. He never wanted me, they did. You want me for what I'm capable of, what you think I can do."

"Smart. Who told you this? Jasper? Carlisle?"

"No one. I may not have the superhuman hearing, but these walls are thin. I hear the talking at night when you think I'm sleeping."

"Looks like we have to assign you a new room then, away from the 'talking', so you can rest without interruptions."

"So I can't hear what you're saying anymore. You know, I'm not some pet for you all to play with. I'm not going to run away, I have nowhere to go."

"Of course you're not a pet. This is all for your own good, to keep you safe."

"Right. How about to keep control?"

"Trust us."

Emmett's hands reach for my nightgown, peeling it off. He hands me my clothes for the day and waits for me to dress myself.

"I will when you trust me too." I tie my shoes and stand, waiting for my next command.

"Time for breakfast. Rosalie made you blueberry waffles. After breakfast, we are going to try talking again."

"And miss my daily walk?" I bite out, defensive.

"We thought you could handle walking and talking today."

"Lucky me."

After breakfast with Rosalie, and another failed attempt to get me to talk during my walk with Emmett, I'm once again alone in my room, my new room, away from the things I shouldn't hear. This room has thicker, red walls, a high ceiling and my own bathroom. I find my clothes already sorted and hanging in the closet, the rest are folded in the dressers. I try to picture in my head one of the Cullens doing this, but fail to see the clear image.

The third try from Emmett at getting me to talk comes right before my bath, which is yet again monitored by Jasper. Emmett sits in the wooden chair at my new desk, hands folded in his lap, an air of calm radiates off of him. I'm cross-legged on my bed, untangling my hair from its braid. It's longer now, I may need a trim before they kill me.

"Bella, why do think Edward left you here?" He chooses this as his opening again, I'm surprised since it got him no where the first time.

"You don't know?" I halt my fingers mid-tangle. Can they really not know?

"I want to hear what you think happened." It's a challenge, testing my knowledge to use against me.

I answer anyway. What does it matter what I say anymore? It's not like I can change my own outcome.

"I think Edward lost control of his rules. I think he didn't want to share. I think . . . Edward wasn't ready for what he was creating."

"What was he creating then?" Emmett unfolds his hands, wiping them on his pants and then refolds them.

"Me."

"And what about Esme?"

"What about her? She got in the way of Edward's plans, tried to save me. She was changing the course that's been set for me. He killed her." I look away after I answer, the memory flashing in my head of her eyes, dull and dead, staring at me. I force myself not to cry.

"Who killed her?" He leans forward in the chair, his voice whisper soft and curious.

"If you want me to play the game, at least tell me why we're playing it, Emmett."

"Edward's broke the law, you're witness to that crime, Bella."

"Let me guess, that changes my fate, my future."

"Not really, not like you think anyway. Since you're not Edward's mate, you're not tied to him."

"But I am Carlisle's? And law says only a mate can change a mate."

"You're not bonded yet, but yes, you are mated to him."

I nod and finish combing out my hair. After Emmett leaves, I find myself reaching for my notebook, making yet another list. This time it's a list of questions, and I'm determined to get the answers to them.

Was the crime leaving me or killing Esme?

Why did he try to keep me from my true mate?

Why are they monitoring me?

How long before I die?

What are my powers going to be?

Why me?

What did Edward mean when he said 'I'd see him when the water rises'?

I read over my list of questions, seeing what ones I may have missed, adding and making changes as I go. I close the notebook and wait for Jasper to collect me to shower. The water's already running and warm when I enter the stream. Jasper's quiet tonight. He doesn't speak as he dries me off, combs out my hair and braids it down my back. It's not until we are back in my room, with me under the covers that Jasper speaks.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I should have protected you better."

"What? You didn't know what Edward was going to do. It's not your fault, Jasper."

"I may not have known what he was going to do then, but I do now. And I don't know how to stop him."

"I'll see him when the water rises . . ." I mumble this under my breath, pulling my covers tighter over me. I should have known Jasper would still hear it anyway.

"You know?"

"No. All he said as he was leaving was he'd see me when the water rises. I didn't know what he meant by it. Jasper?"

"There's a dam just west of Forks, every year it floods. The wall keeps the water from coming over, without it the whole town will flood over. Edward's going to break the dam's wall after it floods from the rain."

"Why?"

"If he can't have you, no one can."

"By flooding Forks?"

Jasper nods, looking away from me. "Among other things. Bella it's set to rain for the next two weeks."

"And we can't stop him?"

"We can't. You can ... maybe. "

"Right. How?"

"Talk to him."

Jasper left me with that, as well as a whole new set of questions. Everything I knew, thought I knew, was being uprooted and turned over. The bad guys were the good guys, the black was white and there had never been a gray. They weren't monitoring me to control me, not like I had thought anyway, not all of them, they were trying to keep me away from Edward's plan.

I couldn't sleep that night, my mind raced with thoughts and questions, memories. I was confused, who did I trust now? How did I know who was on my side or his? Did Carlisle know? Was he part of it? And was this Edward's crime? I swam in my thoughts until morning, Rosalie waking me from my restless sleep.

"Bella . . . Bella ... Bella, I laid out some clothes for you. Breakfast will be ready as soon as you're dressed. You will be on your own for most of the day today, please try to keep yourself in tact until we return."

With that, she turned, leaving me alone again. I was on my own today, no one was going to be watching, waiting on me, handling my every movement. This wasn't right, anytime they all had to leave I was left with Carlisle. Maybe they were testing me, see how I handled being alone, see if I'm strong enough to handle this life.

And with the first drops of the rain on the window, I was reminded of why they had all left . . . Edward's plan. They were trying to stop him, save me, save themselves. A wave of panic shot through me at that thought. What if he found me, alone and human, and they were all out trying to find him? What if he never planned to go through with what they said, but get them away long enough to get to me? And they fell for it.

I spent my day watching the rain, watching the little puddles it made on the ground. I counted in my head how long it would take for those puddles to pool up big enough to flood. And how damaging that was to vampires. I stared out the window long after the first of the Cullens returned. I didn't leave my perch when Alice came to get me for my dinner, I refused to move to walk with Emmett, and Jasper all but carried me to my bath and to bed.

This time it was me who didn't speak. I knew, however, with Jasper I didn't have to. He felt my fears, the worry this was the end. He didn't try to sooth me, calm my worries. Instead he helped me wash my hair, change me into my nightgown and settle me into bed.

That night I dreamt of water, crashing waves pulling me to the bottom. Dreams of fighting for air as water fills my lungs. My human body not strong enough to fight it off, fight through it. I tossed and turned as my mate is torn and burned on the dry land as I fight to swim to save him, as Jasper begs for my life over his, for me to be spared for his death.

I wake up expecting to be alone only to find eyes, red eyes, watching me. I blink rapidly hoping that will make them go away, a remnant left over from my dream. I'm wrong, really wrong, as the eyes morph into a figure as he comes into the light. His lips are set into a cocky, satisfied smirk. He knows he's won.

"Bella, you remember me don't you?"

"No, refresh my memory. I am human after all."

"Now, we both know that's not true. You may be human, yes, but your memory is anything but. Try again, for my sake?"

"Carlisle." I choke, sitting back tighter against my headboard.

"Better, it'll have to do. And I know you remember Edward. Just nod your head if you don't want to speak."

"I remember Edward. What do you want?"

"You, of course. You're the master plan, the grand finale, if you will."

"I don't understand. Mates don-," I'm cut off by Edward's fingers on my lips. He winks and finishes my words for me.

"Mates can't hurt their own mate, especially once they are bonded. You haven't been bonded, Bella. And yes, Carlisle, as your 'mate' can't. . . hurt you. I, however, can. Cool, huh?"

"Thrilling."

"Can I tell her the best part about it, Carlisle? I really want to tell her."

"I think she's earned it."

"What have I earned?"

"Death, slow and painful. And then when you're ready to beg us to just get it over with, you'll burn. So much fun."

"You are sick. Both of you." I force the threat out in my voice, it doesn't do any good.

"No, Darlin', we're vampires."

"And the flood? Edward's going to break the dam, flood the town."

"Oh I'm still doing that, don't worry."

"I wasn't."

Edward's smooth and long fingers cover over my mouth as he lifts me from my bed. I start to bite at his hand, but stop when I feel my tooth chip and crack away. He carries me quietly out of the house, Carlisle stopping anyone from getting to me. I catch my breath as the cold wet air touches my skin, stinging it.

The hushed conversation between Edward and Carlisle makes my head spin as I wait to see their next move. I watch the detailed dance they perform as they move and whisper around me, amazed at how flawlessly they move . . . human almost.

I feel myself being lifted again as I stumble awake from my dreams, Edward's arms feel softer this time, warmer . . . or maybe I'm just used to it. He places me solidly on the ground, my toes dig into the wet dirt, rain still falling down around me.

"A hundred years . . . a hundred fucking years I waited for you, for my mate to show up, all for them to tell me I had found the wrong mate. I had found his mate," Edward pauses, pointing to Carlisle. "and I had to leave you to him, let your destiny play out as it was supposed to. How do you think that makes me feel, Bella?"

"It's not my fault you can't mate right."

"Oh but it is, see you . . . you are special. By being Carlisle's mate, you have control of the laws, and you are going to change a few for me."

"Why should I?"

"They'll die . . . you'll die, simple enough."

"I'm already dying."

"True," he nods his head and continues. "but this won't be a death caused from your change, this death you won't be coming back from, Bella."

"And you think now after seeing what your kind can do, I'd even still want to be one of you? So do it, kill me, kill them, kill everyone for all I care, but you can't and you won't make me change the laws for you."

"No, not the laws, a law. Just one, and I can make you . . . I will make you."

Five days later and still refusing to be a part of Edward's plan, I find myself barefoot and wet as water rises around my feet. They've placed me, helpless, at the center of the dam's wall. In the line of direct fire when it breaks. I see tiny hairline cracks along its middle, weakened pressure points as the water overwhelms.

I have no time left now, only days to wait for my end to come. I always knew I was going to die. I knew the minute Edward's hand touched mine, the moment he spoke my name. Never did I think then as I laid awake at night watching his eyes watch me, listening to his untruthful words, that I would ever die like this . . . and that I would die alone.


End file.
